At Your Feet

Desiring that "Good Part"

I remember when I first got the gift of speaking in tongues. I was at a women's retreat and it was during a time of praise & worship.  Everyone stood with hands upraised, singing praises to the Lord.

As we sang, the love of God impressed upon me so that I opened my mouth to whisper a private, "I love you Lord" to Jesus.  Yet what actually came out of my mouth sounded like gibberish to me.  No biggie.  I must have just tripped over my own tongue.

I opened my mouth to say it again, and again it came out sounding like gibberish...but this time I kept speaking and it sounded as if I was speaking another language!  Even while continuing to speak, I was momentarily startled.  What was this?  It took a moment for me to realize that I was speaking in tongues.

Once I realized this, I continued praising God, and it continued coming out in tongues.  I had never had such a personal and intimate experience with the Lord before.  I literally felt like I was standing before the throne of God, like Jesus was right before me.  I was overwhelmed by His majesty.

Soon, praise & worship ended and the retreat attendees went into the kitchen and dining rooms to prepare for the meal.  I merely sat in my place.  I could still feel the presence of God and I was breathless.  It felt as if His feet were right before me; like I could reach out and touch Him.  I couldn't think of food or eating; all I wanted to do was dwell there forever in His presence.  Although I felt as if I were before His throne, there was not even one inclination in me to attempt to look up and see His face.  It was more than enough for me to simply sit before Him.  I felt blessed beyond measure, just to sit there at His feet.

My pastor walked by me, lovingly tapping me on the head on his way to the kitchen.  I briefly wondered, "Why was everyone going to eat?  Couldn't they see that the Lord was here?  Who could even think of food at a time like this??!"  I determined that I would never leave that spot.  Didn't exactly know how that was going to work, but what did that matter?

Then Jesus began to speak to me and showed me that His throne was not literally right before me, but within me.  He was enthroned upon my heart.  In an amused but loving tone, He told me that it was okay for me to move from that spot.  Leaving that spot did not mean I was leaving Him.  The closeness that I felt with Him at that moment I could always have, for He abided in me. Can you say, "WOW?!"

Of course, I began to feel a little silly having been holding to that spot on the floor.  :-)  But more than that was the great joy I had in knowing that Jesus lived in me!  I believed that before, you know, because it is written in the Scriptures.  However, now I KNEW it was true!

When I first heard the following song by Casting Crowns, I thought, "Wow!  Whoever wrote this song has been at Jesus' feet too!" They seem to express so well what I never could about that experience.

How have I wandered since that time?  While Jesus told me that the level of intimacy I had with Him then I could always have, the truth is that I have not always had it.  While the presence of God overwhelmed me then and consumed my total being for quite some time, sometimes now I am more aware of the stresses of my job, the bickering of the children, the lunacy of the person driving next to me on the road...  Yet, I want to return to that place more than anything.  I want to return to that place where I am once again consumed by God's love.

Dear Jesus, I repent of the times when I have let the cares of this life take my eyes off of you.  Please take me back to that place Lord, where I am surrendered completely to you and sitting at your feet - in awe of you.  Where nothing else matters but being with you; not job, not finances, not family, not health...nothing in this temporal life.  Help me to have ears sensitive to your calling, when you are drawing me into the secret places with you.  No matter where I am, where I go, or what I am doing, let me be at your feet always.

"Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42

**The purpose of this note is not to get into debate about whether "the gift of tongues is for today" or whether the "gift of tongues is known languages", etc.  I address those issues in another post.