This article is part of a series which might be better understood by starting at the first post.
An Inverted Soul
Man is a spirit with a soul that is housed in a body. While a deeper analysis of this is not the focus of this post, the design of man, the structure of the family, and the order of the church are all established purposefully by God to mirror His nature and help us better understand who He is.
The Spirit, by submitting to the Father, allows the will of the Father to be expressed via the Son. Believers, by submitting to the Word of God, allow the light of Christ to be seen in the world. Wives, in submitting to their husbands, allow the identity of a father to be made manifest in the children. The soul, in being submitted to the Spirit, allows the personality of man to be expressed via the body.
The Authority; Carrier of that authority; Visible expression of that authority
- The Father; The Spirit; The Son
- The Word of God; The Bride of Christ; The Life of Christ
- The Husband; The Wife; The Children
- Man's spirit; Man's soul; Man's body
This inverted order results in confusion and constructs the beginnings of an upside down kingdom.
Turning the World Upside Down
I must admit it is hard in the world being a women and giving submission to a man that does not act like he wants to love and respect you as a women or his wife. Reading this article I know that this is the wrong way to be and is not being obedient to what has ordained. I see where you are going with this as far as family image because I was raise around strong women and no good image of a man because he was not around and didn’t seemed like he wanted to be. I learned that women will suffer giving their all while men will continue to become more selfish. I also know that this is more about the individual then just putting it on men but I see more selfish out of men than the average women. I see the women are starting to emulate the action of men more in our now present society. I am just turning 30 and would really love the image of a family with a stable man who knows GOD and the different between good and evil his actions. On the other hand I can admit that I am not so eager to give up my freedom and will to someone that I feel will most likely treat me as less than what I was created to me. I am a woman that is growing more and more confident in the thought of what I can be and do in this world and in my life. In some of my previous experiences with most men unfortunately is that they will want me to be less of myself and to put their ego on a higher pedestal than the thought of family and that does not sound like a happy place to me. So as a woman how do we learn to live as GOD wants us to be with I feel that I am constantly surrounded by selfish men that like that feeling of dominating and destroying? I want to live in GOD will but I wanted to be treated special and valued for all the talents and skills that GOD had in mine when I was created. Now that society has been flipped does God expects us to put ourselves in a bad situation as women to get the order back with out sounding selfish because I know it is not just about me. I really don’t see society holding men accounting for much as they want for women to bow down to a perverted nature for there amusement. I will not agree to anything just to be with a man, can you give me a better perspective?
ReplyDeleteHi Resurrected,
ReplyDeleteOne thing to consider is that Jesus is both fully man and fully God. I once had a woman say to me, "No man is going to tell me nothing!" Well then, that includes Jesus too.
I can share with you that neither my husband or I knew the Lord when we got married. We were both very selfish and were more like roomates than married folk. By most accounts, our marriage was normal. But since knowing the Lord, I know that it was anything but normal.
We had separate bank accounts, separate bills whenever possible, thought of ourselves first, etc. We were just two people sharing a house. We were not "one" in that we didn't share with each other, comfort each other, encourage each other. We were too selfish to think of the other person.
Neither of us knew what it was to be married, so we emulated what we had known growing up. Neither could we trust each other - largely because we each knew our ownselves.
I came to know the Lord first, and BOY what a ruckus that made in our home. :-) It was a REAL struggle as I was torn between being what my husband wanted me to be and being what God expected me to be. I asked God specifically how I was supposed to submit to a man who was not Godly. It just seemed near impossible (not to mention that I subconsciously didn't want to submit anyway). God's answer surprised me. He told me that I was accountable for being what He had called me to be, which included submitting to my husband (line being drawn of course on anything he might want that was unGodly). I had to respect him as the head of our household.
What I didn't realize at the time is that I could not fail to respect my husband or his role and at the same time claim to respect God. IOW, learning to respect my husband was teaching me proper reverence for God. Unless I had gone through this experience, my perverted thinking about men was always going to be an obstacle in how I related to God - even if I didn't realize it. How could I trust, believe, and love Jesus Christ as His Bride, when I could not love, believe, and trust my husband? It is a similar principle to what is stated in I John 4:20.
This meant that a lot of times, I had to hold my tongue (and I mean literally chop down on it to keep my mouth shut) LOL. Sometimes, my feelings were hurt because I felt disrespected by him even as I tried to do all that God wanted me to.
Let me say this. What got me through this time was LOTS of prayer and fasting. I cannot stress that enough. I prayed for him, that he might come to know the Lord. But I also acknowledged to the Lord that this was MY mess. I had created it. Maybe if I had sought the Lord in the beginning, things would have been different. I had no assurance that God would save my marraige, but I just asked the Lord that whatever He was going to do, He would do it quickly.
About 2 weeks into a month-long fast, my husband asked for a separation. I assumed that this was God's answer to my prayer.
Well, we never separated. A series of events began happening in his life and God really began to deal with him. Within one month, he too received Jesus Christ as His Lord & Savior.
There was a lot that happened in between (and afterwards), but the bottom line is that I am a witness to the truth of God's words in I Corinthians 7:14. Seeing the sincerity of my faith in God changed his heart. He began to wonder who this was who could so completely change His wife.
Now, it seems like you are a step ahead of where I was. You know the Lord, but are not yet married. The blessed thing about getting married in the Lord is that it NEVER requires you to downgrade who you are. Take some time if you can and study how God refers to His Bride; it is a beautiful relationship.
This is a pattern of how men are to feel about and treat their wives. EVEN to the point of giving their lives for their wives, the way that Jesus has done for His church. By NO means does being in a submitted relationship to your husband mean you are less of who you are. It is not about domination but a working together as a Godly family unit.
Women also have to keep in mind that their Christian faith HAS to be more than just words. Of course this is not directed to you specifically as I do not know you. In general, faith must be sincere. If we claim Christ but start fornicating with the man, then he knows we are not for real. If we hold true to who we are in God - in our conversation and lifestyle - then everything else will fall into place because God is ordering our steps.
You want to be sure that when/if God brings you someone, your heart has been prepared to receive him. This way, you don't carry the baggage of your previous experiences with men into that relationship.
Lastly, it may not be God's plan for you to get married. I am not saying it is not as I don't know. My point is that there are personal benefits to YOU as a woman of God in understanding this whether you marry or not. Your relationship with the Lord will be blessed and will flourish as you better understand who He is and how He cares for you.
Main points?
* There are ungodly men, just as there are ungodly women. While women may have their gripes, I am sure the men would have a few of their own too. :-)
* Don't worry about trying to find a Godly man. As you obey God, He will bring to you that which He has for you.
* Respecting the roles God has established for men and women is not about diminishing the woman, but providing a pattern by which we can understand who God is and how He relates to us. A Godly man will honor his wife in all things and not try to dominate her.
* Seeing your Christ-like example may affect even some of these individuals who you think are selfish today. God can change the cold heart of a sinner; remember, He did it for us. :-)
* Society is perverted all around, so don't worry about society's standards. Just live for God and let Him lead you through your life. Don't compromise what you know God has for you by trying to submit to something which is unGodly.
* Ask God to soften your heart and open it up to receive what He has for you. Acknowledge within yourself that you too have been guilty of hurting others and ask Him to set you free to forgive those who have hurt you as He forgives your faults as well. This way healing can begin and you can start to experience a more abundant life in Christ - with or without a husband.
God Bless!
Latter Day Ministries, Well as of now I am not married and I have no children. I not too long ago came of a relationship with a man that I really thought I wanted a future but then the devil started to get in and now we are apart. I was very hurt this and for a while after that I tried to show him support, love, compassion, understanding and as much honor as I could without taking less for myself but in the end he still left. My mother said I was a constantly mirror in his face because I like to face issues and solve problems if they can be solved. He comes from a some what dysfunctional lifestyle which many do. For so long he was a very good man to me and seemed like he really cared for me then as things are subjected to change they did. I really wished that we could have worked it out but I also heard GOD asking me deep inside if this is what I wanted; now I think he had a different plan for me but still wonder if God has a plan for us.
ReplyDeleteI am very much a loner type of person, very friendly and open but also very guarded. People use to make me feel that being guarded was such a bad quality but now I know it just a form of protection and invite that because I know when it is also time to stand up and speak out. I use to also talk to my old friend about God and the power that he could have in his life, but he rarely wanted to hear what I was trying to say. He has also benefited from a lot of the wisdom that I received from GOD as well as what seemed to be a very close friendship between us but the devil is also in the mist of ignorance. I was raise with the knowledge of GOD in my life but just recently have become closer to him in a personal relationship and realizing the power that GOD has in my life.
I am not the type of person that looks for my essence on the outside of my being. I have gotten so much revelation in quietness, stillness, reading and listen to Spiritual CD’s and listening to my most inner thoughts and feelings. Sometime I feel that the average man would not be interested in me because I am not an easy person to sum up and not trying to be. I really like and love me more and more each day and I give that honor all to GOD. I like the idea of living outside the box and to develop in my greatest potential of being. People seem not to like you when they can not use you or see that you have a deep understanding to yourself.
Right now I am in a transition of learning more about myself and seeing that people are not that interested in getting to know when they can not manipulate you that is another reason that I spend a lot of time with myself. I pray for GOD to send me a lot of healthy relationships in my life so I will not have to settle for less than want I that he has for me. This attitude also extended from not growing up with a father in my life and seeing women do it all and still coming out better then the ones who left... Thanks you so much for your response, your testimony really made a difference. Thanks for the tips, after reading your message I think this is just my time for preparation.
I have a hard time with my password everytime that I come to your website. Why?
My suggestion to all single women out there: Find a man whom you respect & whose judgment you have confidence in. This way, you will not mind submitting to him and obeying him. It will be difficult to obey a man in whom you have no confidence, especially after being married.
ReplyDeleteHi Rosa,
ReplyDeleteI think you raise an important point which should be discussed.
First, I must say that the only type of man that God will bring to a Christian woman is one who has first committed his life to the Lord. So, if a man is not saved, then a saved woman should not be marrying him; we are not to be unequally yoked. So I would offer that this is the primary attribute women should look for in men.
Something God has shown me is that my submission to my husband is not about him primarily, but about God. In other words, it is not because my husband has earned it (or that I have deemed him worthy of it), but that my God demands it.
You don't want someone who thinks he can "make the right decision", but someone who seeks God at all times for what is right. You don't want someone who is depending on himself (even if you too are confident in his abilities); you want someone who is depending on the Lord.
Even after marriage, there may be times when one's husband makes a decision that you just completely believe is wrong. The question then is, what will you do then? Do you trust God to work it out? Do you trust God to direct Him, correct Him, or even fix what might be his mistakes? Submission is all about trusting the Lord, not trusting the capabilities of your husband.
I am not saying that wives cannot share their thoughts and concerns with their husbands. I am saying that - at the end of the day - it is his decision to make as the head of the family. If we really believe that Christ is his head, then we have to know that God is leading, guiding and teaching him how to be a better man; just as he is teaching us how to be better women.
Don't look to approve of every judgment a husband may make, but commit to keep him lifted in prayer and trusting the Lord to lead and guide him for the betterment of your whole family. We submit, not because we are in agreement with out husbands judgments, but because this is what God commanded...and we trust HIM to work out everything for our good. :-)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic!