In this sermon, Min. Baucham discusses:
- For six days of creation, everything God created was "good". The first thing God said was "not good" was for a man not to have a woman. It doesn't mean that every man must be married, yet it does mean that marriage is the preferred condition. Even Jesus is engaged to His Bride.
- When God created woman, Adam called her "ishshah" (woman) because she came "out from man" ("iysh"). In this act, Adam claimed Eve as his own and as part of himself.
- The world defines manhood based on performance by the "3 B's": the ball field, the bedroom, and by the billfold. We don't need men who will strive to be another ball player. We need men with trained minds who can be warriors for Christ.
- In order for a male to be a "man", he must be committed to:
- God-honoring labor - God put man in the Garden to work and keep it. Hard work is not a product of the fall, man's attitude toward work is a product of the fall.
- God's law - God gave Adam a law about not partaking of the knowledge of the tree of good and evil. By giving the law to Adam, it was also Adam's responsibility to teach the law to Eve.
- A biblical view of family - Society teaches men that marriage is to be avoided like the plague. Men should have a priority in their minds that they are preparing to be a husband and father in order to raise up Godly children.
- God's judgment against Adam for sin was not because he ate of the fruit of the tree, but because he listened to the voice of the woman instead of following what God had commanded. His fault before God was that he did not exercise the headship he was given.
- Headship of the husband was not a product of the fall, but was established by God before the fall. One, because God made Adam first and Eve was made for the man (I Corinthians 11:8-12). Also, Adam named all of the animals as an example of his preeminence over them, however he also named Eve (Genesis 2:23). Further, the fall didn't come through the sin of Eve, but the sin of Adam (Romans 5:12).
- There is no concept of dating in Scripture like we see today. Fathers think it is acceptable to give their daughter into the care of a 17 year old boy to be taken out, but wouldn't think of doing the same with a $200,000 car. Society teaches men to value their possessions even over their own daughters.
- Married or not, a man is called to honor his family...whether it is the family of his parents or his own.
Awh that is so beautiful. It put a smile on me today. Every woman should be dearly loved by her husband and have every "excuse" to love him back x) I'd be honored to be a good husband someday.
ReplyDeleteIts too bad the way the norm is today. Seems like most modern people are regarding marriage more of a mutual alliance with benefits. No wonder there are many unhappy couples and divorces. You can actually hear people talking today saying that Love doesn't even exist but is only an illusion duh.
Didn't you kinda enjoy writing this...its so cute, emh if I may say so.
This is all true and so is his teaching on womanhood. But it is a hard pill to swallow. How do you make it all work in a world/culture that is totally opposite? How do you convince your children that this way is better when everything around them will scream that this kind of life is limiting, sheltered, unrealistic, boring, controlling,etc?
ReplyDeleteHow do you sacrifice in a time when finances are already pushing you to the limit? How do you find acceptable mates for your children when no one else in your life is raising their children with the same standards and beliefs?
I ask all these questions but I know the answer... "what is impossible with man is possible with God..." But somewhere in ourselves we have to have the faith to believe that. Why don't we?
Listening to the message is inspiring and hope filling yet who has the courage to do it?
Hi Dan,
ReplyDeleteBeing a "modern person" is highly overrated. :-) I would much rather be Godly.
Hi Anonymous,
We went to the grocery store the other week and I lie to you not that about 95% of the men at that store were homosexual. It caused me to consider just who would be out there for our daughters to marry? I reached the conclusion that you did. If God has someone for them then that is a non-issue.
I don't think it is our job to convince our children. They are their own persons and will make their own decisions. We certainly share what we understand God's will to be and encourage them to seek the Lord for themselves, but my prayer is that God will touch their hearts and lead them in His ways. We cannot force children to be saved; they each need their own individual relationship with Him and that is what I pray for.
Interestingly enough, my kids never complain about feeling limited, sheltered, or like they are missing out on something. We try to do a lot as a family and they seem to appreciate the time we spend together...I know I do.
I believe that God will give us strength and wisdom in all things in order to live as He desires. If it were all on us, we would be lost. But as you say, in Him all things are possible.
God Bless!
I read this sentence from the first bullet: It doesn't mean that every man must be married, yet it does mean that marriage is the preferred condition. Even Jesus is engaged to His Bride.
ReplyDeleteAnd this verse came to my mind: 1 Corinth 7:8: But I say to the unmarried and the widows: It is good for them to remain even as I am:
And in this whole chapter Paul is explaining (to the Corinthian church) through the instruction of the holy spirit that marriage is not a sin, but it is better to not be preoccupied with it (nor married-if one has self-control). He says in verse 29: But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none,
It seems today, there is so much emphasis on these things like marriage, weddings, dating, courting, etc that serving Jesus with singularity of heart gets lost in the process. I am not saying that godly marriage and family should not be cherished and given priority -- given the fact that divorce and brokenness inside the home is so rampant in today's world.
But I would say, lets look at the other side of it: if a man is not married, he is not a failure. In fact, as part of the Bride -- he is in turn, engaged to God -- but we always prefer thinking of the single woman as serving the Lord and expect men "to get their acts together" and get settled down.
I am a woman writing this, so I don't even know what it must feel like to be a man in a society that looks down upon men who are grown and still single. As a woman, I feel pressure from all around me to get married, but as a man, it must be harder to realize that you're considered 'weird' or maybe even 'homosexual' because you don't have a woman by your side or to go home to.
I am sure that the Holy Spirit would testify to the truth that marriage is not the preferred condition. IN fact, Paul states plainly that he who is married WILL have trouble in the flesh (v.28)
Again, I am not denying that marriage isn't good (seeing that pastors are to be able to rule over a godly family), but it is certainly not preferred. Paul stated that as a concession, he would rather men get married and render the affection due to his wife than to burn with passion.
Bottom line: I don't want to see those who have devoted their lives to the Lord as seen as living the 'non-preferred' or 'undesirable' life when God probably cherishes men and women such as these.
Hi Emily,
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want any single person to feel pressured to marry and am sorry if that is the impression given. Each has their own calling in the Lord.
The God who proclaimed that it is "not good" for man to be alone is the same spirit by whom Paul is writing. So I don't think the two texts are at odds with one another nor do I think God has changed.
Paul is addressing several questions they had asked him (verse 1). There was a belief by Jews that being single was sin. So Paul takes time to establish celibacy as also "good" and point out the virtues of single life.
There were also some who claimed that being celibate was more spiritual. So Paul not only instructed that marriage was not sinful, but that married men and women should not defraud one another.
I also do not believe that Paul is discouraging one or elevating the other. Paul's advise is that everyone should abide in the calling God has given them. The point seems to be not putting our hope in temporal things of this world - sex, marriage, circumcision, being a freeman, etc. - but on the eternal things of God.
Pastor Tim Conway has a good sermon on this which can be found here: Time is short. Don't set your hopes on marriage.
I know that you already have seen that sermon, but I post the link in case it helps others. :-)
"Preferred" is not my word; those are merely the notes from Min. Baucham's sermon. Perhaps he said this in contrast to what he said is the world's view of portraying marriage as something which should be avoided by men.
Either way, I would certainly say that marriage is God's norm for man. Paul seems to support this by pointing out that being single is a gift from God. Yet again, singleness too is "good", for God only gives "good" gifts. :-)
Thank you Sister for giving me an opportunity to speak on these points and to correct any potential misunderstandings they may have raised. Although I am not single, I would love to encourage those in that calling for - like you - I am absolutely sure that such are precious in the Lord's sight.
God Bless!
Thank you for your response. I guess this walk that I am on is hard at times and I feel for others who are in the same 'boat' as me.
ReplyDeleteBeing single is a gift from God --I do understand that the norm is marriage. Which is why I am always evaluating and re-evaluating if being single is the path that God has for me. At the same time, I feel the Holy Spirit urge to stay focused on growing in my relationship with Jesus, but then I see things in articles that tend to trip me up a bit and make me feel discontent with where I am in life. I didn't mean to demean the importance of biblical manhood -- I know it needs to be addressed in these end days.
Thank you for your articles and God Bless!
Hi Emily,
ReplyDeleteYou haven't taken away from anything. His sermon doesn't really address singleness, so I agree that it was a focus which is missing. I too needed to be reminded that not everyone is married or even called to be married.
May God give us all the strength and wisdom to walk where He leads us.
Much love in Christ for you Sister!
God reminded me of something the other day. I was once speaking with a Christian co-worker who was married, but did not have any children. This was a source of discouragement for her because not only did she want children, she took seriously God's command to be fruitful and multiply.
ReplyDeleteI reminded her that this also means having spiritual children; leading people into the faith and discipling them.
There is a woman who led me into the faith. She shared tracts with me, studied with me, prayed with me. Her home was open to me any time of day...and believe me, as a new convert there were times I took good advantage of this. :-)
When commenting on this blog recently, she referred to me as her daughter, and it was the most precious thing to me. It brought me to tears because she is just that to me, a mother in the Lord.
My point is that there should really be no such thing as "singleness" in the Lord. One may not be married, but God plants us all together in His family whereby we have sisters/brothers and those who care for us like mothers/fathers. We can even have children for the Lord, without ever being married.
"God setteth the solitary in families..." Psalm 68:6a
"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up." Psalm 27:10
I pray that those who are not married are encouraged in the Lord and do not feel like outsiders in this great family God has engrafted us into by the Spirit of Adoption. We are all important parts of His Body and may we never diminish the contributions every single person makes in building up the Body of Christ.
May God Bless you all and continue to bring you to all fullness in Him.
God reminded me of something the other day. I was once speaking with a Christian co-worker who was married, but did not have any children. This was a source of discouragement for her because not only did she want children, she took seriously God's command to be fruitful and multiply.
ReplyDeleteI reminded her that this also means having spiritual children; leading people into the faith and discipling them.
There is a woman who led me into the faith. She shared tracts with me, studied with me, prayed with me. Her home was open to me any time of day...and believe me, as a new convert there were times I took good advantage of this. :-)
When commenting on this blog recently, she referred to me as her daughter, and it was the most precious thing to me. It brought me to tears because she is just that to me, a mother in the Lord.
My point is that there should really be no such thing as "singleness" in the Lord. One may not be married, but God plants us all together in His family whereby we have sisters/brothers and those who care for us like mothers/fathers. We can even have children for the Lord, without ever being married.
"God setteth the solitary in families..." Psalm 68:6a
"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up." Psalm 27:10
I pray that those who are not married are encouraged in the Lord and do not feel like outsiders in this great family God has engrafted us into by the Spirit of Adoption. We are all important parts of His Body and may we never diminish the contributions every single person makes in building up the Body of Christ.
May God Bless you all and continue to bring you to all fullness in Him.