God is Showing You YOU
"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24
If you look at the Grand Canyon, you will see various layers in the rock formations. This is caused by various geological events which created, pressurized, and hardened rock over the passing of time.
Such is the way it is in sin. It is like hardened rock that has been so pressurized, fortified, and built upon within us, that it seems almost immovable.
"And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh:" Ezekiel 19:9
Sanctification unto salvation is a process (Romans 6:22; II Thessalonians 2:13-17; II Peter 1:4-10). When God chips away at these rocks, He reveals to us who we really are, as opposed to who we think we are. As such, we should not be surprised to see the fossils and skeletons which resided there in our hearts. They are remnants of our past life of sin which - although may be years ago - still made an indelible impression on our personality.
By example, my last article was called, "An Honest Woman", and it spoke of the importance of obedience to God in the Church. as patterned after the role of a wife in obeying her husband.
If someone had asked me, "Do you consider yourself to be an obedient wife?" I would have answered, "Yes. It is certainly something I sincerely aspire to be." Yet, God has a way...
The very next day after posting that article, one of my daughters didn't want to go somewhere which I felt she should. So, I told her that she was doing it. She replied, "That's not fair. Dad said I didn't have to." And I replied, "You are going!"
She then went to my husband and said, "If you are the head of the house, then why does Mom get to override you?" You want to have something cut you to the heart? Well, that did.
Now, my daughter was just using that to try and get her way, and I knew that. However, the problem was that what she said was still the truth. By contradicting the direction my husband had given her, I was overriding him. Although I believed I was trying to honor God and my husband in all things, when I contradicted his instructions in that way, I was diminishing his authority before the children.
Then God promptly reminded me of an instance just that previous week with my son. I had come into the kitchen to find him filling a bowl to the brim with yet another round of dinner. I stated, "What are you doing? Put that back."
He quickly replied, "Dad said I could!" And I stated, "That is your third helping. You do not need any more food. Put that back!"
He said again, "But Dad.." And I cut him off saying, "I don't care, put that back now!"
In that time as well, I had overridden my husband's instructions. As I reflected on these situations, I still felt that I had been right. Yet God had to remind me that it is not about being right. I would have never said that I disrespected my husband at all, let alone in regards to the children; but I had done it twice in the past week.
What I should have done in those instances was bring my concerns to him. If, for example, I had done that in the instance with my son, I would have found out that my husband had not told him he could have another helping of dinner. My son had misconstrued what he was told. In regards to my daughter, I confessed to her that what I had done was wrong and that her father's decision stands.
Now I am not being legalistic here. I am free to guide and instruct our children. There may be times when I will need to contradict his instructions simply because a situation has changed and he is not around. There may also be times when he defers to my judgment based upon wisdom God has given me as their mother (Genesis 21:12). The difference is the spirit in which this is done. I must be aware of how I do so and remember that I am reflecting the authority of my husband as the head of our home. As long as I am mindful of this, then the same authority is being represented to the children, whether it is coming from him or me. It is not me overriding what he says, but me being confident that I am communicating what would be his desire, because I am seeking to honor him.
I mention this because, when God brought this situation to my attention that day, I was undone. I felt like a complete hypocrite for just having posted how important it was for women to obey their husbands. Was I fooling myself? How was it that I could still so naturally disregard him before our children? I am telling you that I mourned that day over what the Lord showed me in my own soul.
That is when God began to illustrate to me the metaphor of the Grand Canyon. There are things affecting our personalities, even after salvation, which God desires to purge from us. Lately, I have received numerous emails from people doubting they are saved and becoming burdened with what God is showing them about themselves. To these I just want to say to be encouraged. Don't become frustrated as God begins to reveal to you the real you in you. This is His mercy and grace so that we will not be condemned. God is showing us these things so that we can repent and be cleansed from them. Simply repent and be changed by the power of God. We should grow concerned once we no longer feel His prodding because such would indicate that He has left us to our own sinful devices. As long as God is revealing our sin to us for purging, then that is a good thing. That is the process of sanctification.
If we want the living water to flow freely, then the blockages must be removed.