Friday, August 14, 2015
I can attest to this struggle, having gone through it myself. In fact, I can say that I still encounter situations where I have to make this choice and the Lord uses those to show me other areas in my life where soul ties with these familiar spirits need to be broken.
Drifting Away From My Core
I will make an honest confession. I care what people think about me. Sometimes to my own detriment. I encountered a situation today that left me somewhat emotional. While I attempted to fight back tears, I had to ask myself why I felt so hurt. When I came to the realization of the origins of those feelings, I let the tears go and cried. I cried, not because of what the person said to me, but I cried due to the realization that I still greatly care about what people think of me and how they view me. I was heartbroken that this person I have known and loved for years would utter comments towards me that were not in the affirmative because of a difference in opinion, and I was hurt. My reaction caught me off guard.
I'd done so well pretending not to care how I was perceived by certain groups or individuals and talked big talk like I was ready to let things run off my back like water. I thought I had shaken the feelings of needing to be liked and accepted by others because of the personal stances I took on certain issues. I thought I was as strong on the inside as my talk would lead one to believe, but the talk proved to be a smoke screen for something weak on the inside.
What I am talking about here is family. I love my family. I grew up with us being fairly close. I felt the expectation was set early on that we all had to believe the same things and go about life in pretty much the same way, and never deviate too far from the close knit core. Anyone that dared drift too far in a different direction was deemed an outcast and often gossiped about. (I have actively participated in some of those gossip sessions). I was an extension of that core and the core molded me into the woman I would become...
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Honor Your Father and Mother