You Have Cancer
It was a year ago this month when The Latter Days blog was started. So much has changed in that time. Even the world itself has moved forward much more significantly towards the financial crisis, global consolidation, rise in the occult, and general moral malaise that will usher in the unveiling of the Anti-Christ. However, this post is about changes in my own life over the past year.
Within one month of starting this blog, I found out that I had cancer. To be exact, it was within 1 week of starting the series "Turning the World Upside Down" that I found evidence of the tumor preceeding my diagnosis.
Beyond the shock of having this disease, it became apparent to me that Satan did not want me having this blog. I just had a knowing in my spirit that Satan was trying to distract me. He was hoping to get my eyes off of God and on myself, so that I would not be able to hear God's words. Even more so, I knew that it was the specific message on which I was working that he did not want to get out.
When I heard the diagnosis, uncertainty about the future was like a cancer, trying to steal my spiritual life and hope. My first thought after diagnosis was to my family. How would this affect them? How would we tell the children? Coming face-to-face with my own mortality, I began to question the purpose of my life.
"Why, God, did you reveal to me all that you have over the years only to have it end this way? You promised in your Word that if we obeyed you, none of these curses would be placed upon us? What did this disease say about my standing with the Lord? What was the purpose behind all that God had shown and told me, to have my life waste away without having those things fulfilled? It just doesn't make sense!"
And then it hit me. It doesn't make sense. This cannot be God's plan for me because it just doesn't line up with all that He has shown me. It came down to one question, "Whose report would I believe?"
My battle against cancer then became a metaphor for my spiritual battle in faith. At that moment, my quest became for God to have the glory; whether I lived or whether I died, my prayer was for God to be glorified.
After my initial questioning when I heard the diagnosis, God gave me such peace in this experience. It was clearly a peace that passed all understanding. I knew that He was with me and everything would be alright - one way or another.
The peace came from the brokenness in being reminded that this life is only a vapor and that there were no surprises for God. He has a plan and everything is in His hands. I can trust that, even if I don't know the outcome of the plan. There was one song in particular that encouraged me through this time, Your Faithfulness by Brian Doerksen. I thank God for His loving presence in my life during that time.
One thing I was amazed to see is how the cancer had actually been turned into a blessing in my life. Truly what Satan meant for evil, God meant for my good. Through this experience, I met people I may not have otherwise. As news of my diagnosis spread, we received countless messages from family, friends, and strangers alike. One particularly encouraging message was from Gina Cook, a Christian singer and cancer suvivor. She had written a song entitled "Praise You Through the Pain" inspired by her battle which literally brought me to tears. "Who am I" I asked God as I listened to her song, "that you should bring such wonderful people into my life?"
The cancer provided an additional platform for me to share the Gospel...and with more boldness! Afterall, if I had ever held back before, what was the point in doing so now? :-)
Cancer also forced me to come to terms with what I really believed, not just what I professed to believe. I knew one thing: I would now have to rely on what I had professed for most of my adult life - that I loved and trusted the Lord. Throughout this time, God proved Himself faithful. In my life, and in the lives of those around me, there was renewal, revival, and gratitude as we watched God's plan unfold.
Read the next part of the article