Saturday, January 21, 2012
It was like a claim of ownership & possession was being established in a sense of 'you belong to me'. You were being set apart with and for the other person in an exclusive relationship to which others were not privy. They were the ones to whom you were to share your deepest, darkest secrets. There was even an unspoken pressure to think alike. It was as if we had to have the same mind.
There were also certain obligations associated with being a "best friend". You had to think of them first before any other when it comes to where to go, what to do, and with whom to hang out. It was their opinion you would seek on what to wear and whom to date. You also had to make the status of your relationship obvious to others through public demonstration such as always being seen together, wearing similar clothes and hairstyles, etc.
Overall, the "best friend" was expected to be always on your side, always supportive, and always there for you. They provided a sense of acceptance, validation, and dependability in life when there is so much unknown.
After elementary school however, I just outgrew the need for a "best friend", preferring instead to just float among different groups of friends. For me personally, I found such relationships too restrictive.
These days however, the BFF (best friends forever) craze has taken a life of its own...and I am speaking of primarily girls. Everything evolves around having a BFF or who is your BFF. I was even told last week that it is common for girls to call BFFs their wives; even updating Facebook statuses to indicate that they are married to their "wife" (BFF).
While initially shocked by these things, it makes perfect sense upon reflection. While we didn't call each other wife, that is often what we were setting up in our "best friend" relationships from childhood. What is wrong with just being friends? Even being good friends?
Even older women can have BFFs whom they are closer with than their own husbands. I can remember grown woman BFFs saying to each other, "Men may come and go, but best friends are forever." It is not uncommon for such persons to desire to spend more time with their BFF than with their husband, going out at night, going on vacations together, etc. I am just not sure that the BFF connotation is as innocent, healthy, or normal as it can appear on the surface.
The following article is from a young lady's blog entitled, "Never Too Young For Jesus Christ" as she delves into what God revealed to about BFFs and how our closet friend should be Jesus. This is not just words or religious speak. Can you honestly say that Jesus is your best friend or are you leaning on others in a way you should only lean on Him?
Our earthly friendships say more about us and our affections than we may know. As stated in the video in her post:
"You tell me who your friends are and I will tell you exactly who you are or who you are about to become."