Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Head of Every Man

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." I Corinthians 11:3

We know that the head of every man is Christ.  Notice, it doesn't say that the head of every male is Christ.  There are many males, and they often bow to many different things as their head; even having women as their head, in direct opposition of the Scriptures.  A true man will only have Christ as his head.

Yet, a true man can only be supported by a true woman.  And guess what?  The head of the woman is the man.  My daughter and I were in a group of women recently when one said, "My Momma always used to say, 'The head of the house is the man, but the woman is the neck and she can turn that head whatever way she wants."  A lot of the women laughed.  You know who says such things (and who laughs at such things)?  Rebellious women. 

The heart of a true woman is not to submit to her husband in name only, pretending he is the head while really getting him to do what she wants him to do.  Rebellion in disguise is still rebellion; and rebellion is still as the sin of witchcraft (I Samuel 15:23).

What I am sharing today might be considered a small thing, but even the little foxes can spoil the vine.  God wants to see our faithfulness, even in the small things...and sometimes those are the toughest.

I had once shared what I thought was a great idea with my husband.  Although I thought that this suggestion might be an answer to prayer, my husband did not see the same potential.  We talked about it and I made my case, but he was just not moved by it.  "Okay", I said, "I will not mention it again."  There set in the struggle.

As time passed and he didn't act on my suggestion, I kept wanting to remind him of this option.  Each time I got the thought to say something, I remembered my words.  And each time I remembered my words, God would remind me of I Corinthians 11:3.  "Do you really believe that the head of your husband is Christ?  If so, then why do you feel compelled to influence his decision in this matter?  Do you think that I am unable to lead Him where I want him to go?

See, it would never be a problem for me to share my thoughts with my husband or even for me to remind him of something helpful.  A wise man will consider the input of his wife because she has been given specifically as a help for him (Genesis 2-18-24; 21:12).  The issue comes in trying to get him to do what "I" think is right.  The problem creeps in when we try to be his head, even with just our suggestions.  Even with our words, we can wear others down.

"A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike." Proverbs 27:15

How do I know this was a problem?  Because I literally had to bite my tongue to stay quiet.  I had to fight with myself not to bring the topic back up, letting me know the urge was inordinate. Why am I writing about this?  Because I am on a mission to rid myself of every vestige of anything that might displease God.  Aren't we all?  :-)

This is important because my relationship with my husband reflects how I relate to God.  People (men and women) often bring this "neck" thinking to God, supposing that they can run a game on Him.  They will - with their prayers, petitions, or persistence - get God to do their will instead of His own.  It will never happen.

Don't buy into a worldly mindset.  Be a help to your husband 
& your household, not a hindrance.
So, I encourage every woman to consider, "Do you truly believe that Christ is the head of your husband? "  If you do, then you will have peace, even when he is not doing what you may think is best.  Who knows best and who is Lord, you or God?

"For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were accustomed to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands, adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them. It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham, following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you, not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you." I Peter 3:5-6

Sisters, sometimes the hardest thing for a woman to do is to be at peace.  God has really been working with me recently to be "anxious for nothing" (Philippians 4:6).  I encourage you to rest in Christ always.  Don't buy into the rebellious mindset that you are supposed to "turn the head". And even if you don't believe in such a perspective, keep guard over your heart to ensure that your actions are in line with your heart.

"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1


  1. Such beautiful words sis!! I couldn't agree more!! I have been "nagging" my husband for a couple of years now about moving...just a constant drip about it! I am so sorry and I repented to him and the Lord for this because I have been trying to have my way. My husband is not walking with the Lord, but I am and I trust my Father and I know that I can submit to my husband's authority and have no fear because I am God's daughter and he will take care of whatever concerns me. Thanks for this post because it was confirmation to what I already knew! Love you much and you all are in my prayers!! :)

    1. Hi Stephanie,

      This walking with the Lord is certainly a learning experience. I thank Him for the growth in our lives as He completes the work He has started in us.

      I recently was able to see some growth in myself as well. My husband told me to do something this past weekend, so when the time came, I went to do it. My second oldest daughter asked me where I was going, and I told her what my husband had stated for me to do.

      Then she said, "Why do you have to go do that? We can do that here. Why can't you just use what we have at home?" I then repeated myself with emphasis, "Because that is what he told me to do." Then it hit me: She doesn't understand obedience.

      I've been having some challenges with her lately arguing with me about what I tell her to do. I tell her to do something, and she immediately starts coming up with alternatives for what I have asked her, asking why can't she just do such and such instead. You know where she got that from? Yup, me.. I realized that I used to be the same way.

      This has led us to have some frustrating conversations as I respond, "Just do what I say. I am not asking you for how/why you think it needs to be done. Just do it!" This exchange on Saturday gave me the opportunity to address the crux of this issue.

      I told her at that moment, "The problem is that you do not understand obedience." She replied with teen attitude, "I was just asking a question Mom."

      "No", I said. "You don't understand obedience. See, your father told me what to do and your reaction is to question about why I should have to do it. Do you think I feel like going to do this? I don't. But I am going because that is what He told me to do. That is obedience."

      Even as I left to do what I was told, I was amazed at the progression. There would have been a time when I would have reacted the same way with my husband. Instead of just doing what he said, I would be trying to think of a "better way" or wondering if what he asked was even necessary. Then I would present my case to him. It is the EXACT same thing my daughter has been doing with me lately, and you know what? It has been getting on my last nerve. LOL I can only imagine how my husband felt.

      Yet, this time I didn't give one consideration to whether I felt like doing what he asked or whether there was a better way. I just did it. And if I hadn't, then there may not have been an opportunity for me to address this with my daughter. Any attempt to come up with a better alternative to my husband would have had me miss out on this blessing of using my example to illustrate obedience to her. I was so thankful t the Lord, for my own personal growth and for the opportunity with her.

      Sorry to be long-winded, but just wanted to share that.

      Much love to you Sis!

  2. I'm praying for you and this ministry. It takes nothing but the Holy Ghost working through you in order to address the questions that people have pertaining to the message that God put on your heart. I was looking back to some of the previous posts, and I thought, "the god of this world has blinded the minds." I thank God for keeping our minds, because I too was just as blind if not more. God bless

    1. You know what? That is just what it boils down to. Without the mercy of God, our minds would remain blinded. Unless He keeps us, then we will be lost. I too am seeing that all around; people's minds are blind to God, even while sitting right up in Church. It is terrifying.

      Thank you for your prayers and God Bless you too!

  3. This was so encouraging ! This was right on time, I still am learning where verses are to look on this very topic. Especially when no woman are being examples of this anymore we tend to get lost as young women on how to be GOD loving and fearing wives. I agree also on seeking to have every last vestige of anything that displeases GOD to be gone. Praying that The Holy Spirit will continue to bless you and give you a space to relay the message to us! Much love in Christ Sister!

    1. HI Ann!

      How have you been Sister? It is truly hard to find women who really love being what God created us to be. I know what a tremendous blessing it was for me when Sis. Barbara led me into the faith and I could watch her - at home, in the church, with her children, on the job, etc. - and learn what it means to be a handmaiden in the Lord.

      One thing is sure. If we desire truth in the inward parts, the Lord will provide it to us. He will place us amongst others who share His heart so that we can edify one another.

      I thank God for you and pray that you and the family are well until we meet again!

  4. Amen and bless you again for sharing your My heart and how God is working in you and ALL of us on the same issues. Yes, the small things are the hardest! We must TRUST Him. God has been dealing with me on that. My husband is not saved either,and what Stephanie shared in her comment is so true. Praise God!

    1. Hi gujane02,

      My testimony was the same, as I came to the faith before my husband. Do not think your husband is not noticing the work that God is doing in your lives. I thought my husband was not paying any attention at all, but he was quietly taking note of the work of the Holy Spirit in my life. He was seeing that I was changing, and it made him curious as to whether there just might be something to this "God" stuff :-).

      Be encouraged in the Lord and do not give up. He is able to make all things new!

      "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;" I Peter 3:1

  5. Do you think our prayers are hindered when we rebel or are not obedient to our husbands?

    1. Hi JM,

      I have to tell you that God has really been stressing to me the topic of obedience (as I mentioned above to Stephanie). I am not sure of what all He wants me to know or post about it, but I know it is a big issue.

      Just recently, another woman sent me an email asking for counsel, and she was quick to say that she "obeyed her husband." Now, I do not know this woman, but when I read her email, God said to me, "Obedience is a condition of the heart." I took this to mean that, although we can outwardly obey something, in our hearts, we can hate not only the command we are obeying, but the one who is giving the command. God is after obedience from the heart. There shouldn't be any resistance in us towards the commands God gives us.

      So, in terms of your question, yes, our prayers are hindered when we do not obey God. It is not just about obeying one's husband, but obeying God Himself...and we cannot obey God while at the same time disobeying or rejecting the authority He puts in place (whether in the home or the church). If we obey God, then we will obey His authority, including the vessels in which He invests His authority.

      Now, some will say, "Well, what if my husband tells me to do something that is against God?" Remember, your allegiance is first to God. While women are called to even submit to the authority of their unsaved husband (I Peter 3:1), we must ultimately obey God above all. We cannot blame our husbands or use them as an excuse to do what we know is wrong. If we do wrong, it is because we want to, and God knows this because He knows our hearts. We cannot run game on God.

      Remember, rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. The key is to recognize the resistance in your own soul to obeying your husband and asking God to reveal & free you from the roots of that rebellion. Any obstacles to submitting to your husband will be reflections of the same resistance in your soul to God. Why? Because the husband is the authority God has set-up in the home as a reflection of His authority.

      Recognize the resistance and seek God for deliverance from anything which is standing up in Him in your soul. When you see that resistance raising up, acknowledge it and ask God for grace to cast it down. Be honest with your husband about what you are fighting and ask Him to join you in prayer about it. I have for years - and even as recently as this week - asked my husband, "Please tell me if you see any rebellion in me. I don't want to fool myself. Don't spare my feelings, Tell me the truth so that I can see myself and repent."

      I don't mean to ramble, but obedience to your husband is important because God commands it; and we want to please Him in all things and stand against that which would lead us into disobedience.

      The following article might also encourage you: Women, Reverence Your Husbands


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